Most of us are performing love, not living it. We keep peace. We avoid discomfort. We shut down difficult conversations. We suppress anger. We are taught to behave a certain way if we want to be loved. But that is not love. That is polite survival.
Real love is not a performance. It is a churning. It is messy. It demands truth. It makes space for growth, and growth is never wrapped in shiny paper. Remember, Amrita ( Divine Nectar) came only after the Halaahala ( Poison). If our relationships do not allow for conflict, discomfort, or rage, then what we are doing is preserving comfort, not building love.
How often do we say, “I understand,” when we really do not? Or, “I’ll manage,” when we are bone tired and aching for help? Or, “I’m okay,” when we are breaking inside? Or even, “I love you,” when what we really mean is, “Please see me, please hold me, please tell me I matter.” And the world claps for this performance. We all give each other standing ovations while quietly failing each other.
What if you said instead, “You make no sense to me, but I will try to understand”? Or, “I am not okay. I need you to care enough to show up”? Or, “I cannot do this alone. I need support from those who say they love me”?
Every time we perform love, instead of speaking it, we are teaching the people we love to fail us. Because we never gave them the field to practise honesty. We never invited them into our unedited self.
So next time, before you speak the well-rehearsed line in the play called Love, pause. Ask yourself-is this a line, or is this a truth?
Speak the truth. Let love follow.
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