There is this ideal version we have of healing. More so because of social media. A healed woman in soft flowy gowns, gentle slow living, caressing the plants in quiet peaceful place. It’s great if it can look like that. But more often than not, it looks very different.
For a long time I felt stuck- somehow I have not moved on – despite many things- and this is after working and rebuilding financially, building a home, running a household, raising kids, pursuing art-I felt I needed to heal more- it felt a never ending circus of fixing oneself. One day- out of nowhere in a conversation I said – If I stopped every time something hurt me, I would not get anything done!! and that was my aha moment :).
We imagine being healed is never angry, always calm, never triggered, achieving boss babe life style or a romantic second innings – the imagery varies and you get the drift. I am for all of it. Except it isn’t reality of healing. And that not knowing what true healing looks like or feels like, make people who are perfectly normal thinking they are forever a personal development project. That one day – one fine sunlit morning “ I shall feel joyous” . Oh How fooled we can be and forever feeling in “Stuck” , therapy after therapy, classes after classes.
But true freedom in simple words feels like this. You go ahead – live your day- do what brings you joy in what ever tiny way it is and continue. That is not being stuck. That is being free to live life to the best you can- no matter how constrained your circumstances are and moving one step by step. You are free the day you can do what needs to be done. Period. You don’t need soft slow living trending audio for your morning cup of coffee steaming. It is a choice – however unconscious one- you are making to live your life- regardless of your bad marriage, cranky in laws, health , money etc.
Most women feel stuck in their life not because they are not doing something. They are doing so much- creating, nurturing families , attending meetings when their hearts are broken, earning money when they have no where to cry-they don’t see how they have chosen freedom despite their limiting environments.
The trick is to see what we have accomplished. Well fed and loved children, home that runs, festivals that come and go, hospitals we run to and from , manage everyone despite the wounds and pain. That is not being stuck or hopeless. That is answering life – despite its obstacles.
What we think freedom means:
- Pain disappears.
- Triggers stop
- We feel “healed”
- We transcend the wound
What freedom actually means:
- Pain exists, we act anyway
- Triggers come, we don’t engage them
- We’re wounded AND moving forward
- We live beautifully alongside the wound
How do you know?
What have you built DESPITE your wound?
What have you created WHILE doubting yourself?
What have you accomplished REGARDLESS of the loop?
That’s not waiting for freedom. That’s practicing it daily. You’re already free.
You just didn’t recognize it.”
Freedom isn’t transcendence or not feeling the pain. It’s showing up wounded and building anyway.
You’re not stuck. You’re sovereign. You are already exercising your choice.
You’re just waiting for permission to claim it.
Consider this your permission..”
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